Butthurt

Butthurt  – is probably my most favorite addition to the lexicon in recent years.

I mean seriously – hashtag and selfie are SO over used they’ve achieved lame status. Kim Kardashian should have A LOT of butthurt resulting from her abuse of the selfie. I digress…

As defined by urbandictionary.com:

Butthurt – An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the “aggressor.”

It stuck. It’s a great word to randomly interject into conversations at the office too. Trust me.

Heads up: let another coworker in on your planned usage during an office meeting so that neither of you will crack a smile while you gauge the response of the impact.

“Karen…I’m real butthurt for forgetting to staple the cover page to the TPS reports.”

If all goes well – no one will end up butthurt.

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50+ followers :)

I hope one of you has a map because otherwise, dear followers, we’re doomed as doomed can be!?!?!

Well so far so good…but seriously 50+ followers in a month and a half…whodathunkit?

Note I said Whodathinkit not Hodathunkit:

Courtesy http://www.today.com

So at the urging of Maddie Cochere (blame her for what follows) I present my poem 50+ Followers:

I noticed today that 50+ followers had begun closing in

And yet I had nothing to entertain them with but digital paper and pen

SO as fast as I could I fashioned a blog 

Full of fiction, humor and even an ode to my dog

So dear readers although the one you’ve chosen to follow is certainly no scholar

He vows today to not further delay the posts geared towards  his 50+ followers! 

(Hmmm…why is everyone exiting at the same time? Bathroom break? Sigh…)

Friday Fictioneers #3 – Travelogue

Copyright - Björn Rudberg

Copyright – Björn Rudberg

I’m taking a stroll through Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers archives and found this photo contribution from Björn Rudberg. Warning: what follows is a silly take on the photo. Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge to create a 100 word story based on a photo prompt and then receive as well as share feedback with writers from around the world. Approx 100 submissions are entered every week.

***Friday Fictioneers contribution #3***

word count: 100

Her:”Good morning!”

Him: (groggily) “Good morning.”

Her: “See…flying on an airplane is not so bad…especially after you combined a Xanax with a glass of single malt scotch. You slept just like a baby.”

Him:”Well, I’m just glad we got that part over because, as much as I love you and knowing how long you’ve wanted to go to the Bahamas, I just had to get over my fear of flying once and for all.”

Her:”Good to hear because our next flight leaves in an hour…there’s been a slight mix up.”

Him:”They lost our luggage?”

Her:“Yes..along with all sense of direction.”

Friday Fictioneers #2 – A Light Bulb Moment

image

Photo copyright Dawn M Miller

***Friday Fictioneers 2nd entry*** Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge to create a 100 word story based on a photo prompt and then receive as well as share feedback with writers from around the world. Approx 100 submissions are entered every week.
Word count: 100

Him: “Honey I’d have to rewire the thing to get it working again . Not to mention out of ALL the yard sales we’ve been to today this is the only lamp with most of a broken bulb remaining in the socket. ”

Her: “But it reminds me of that beach house we rented in Savannah that summer. We never did get out of the house much as I recall.”

Both share a knowing smile.

Him: “Are you sure this is the one?”

Her: “Yes but after 33 years I’m still considering my options with you…so don’t push your luck.”

My first WordPress Award!

Thanks to tameramb aka Jibber Jabber & Happenstance for this nomination! Ich habe eine Liebster? Das ist sehr gut!!!

According to Loraine Reguly: The word Liebster has German origins – the word “liebster” has several definitions: dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, welcome, sweetheart and boyfriend (really?)

Here are the rules:

  • The bloggers that have been nominated must link back to the person that nominated them
  • Nominees must answer the eleven questions given to them by the person who nominated them
  • Those nominated must choose eleven of their fave bloggers that have less than 200 (1000?) followers to answer their own set of questions (a few of my choices I wasn’t sure about)
  • When you are nominated you cannot nominate the person that nominated you

Here are my nominees, I just started this month and had a hard time creating this list (lame!) and had a hard time narrowing down but would like to know each blogger better!

  1. helentythers
  2. jennyracich
  3. V
  4. Thomas Cochran
  5. capriciousandwhimsical
  6. authorlisacrowe
  7. pensitivity101
  8. Maddie Cochere
  9. Sandra
  10. Sean Smithson
  11. caragale

So my nominees please read and answer the following questions:

1. Where is your favorite place to be? The here and now

2. Name two songs that describe you. Happy Birthday (I love cake!) and The Chicken Dance (is playing in my head at the moment)

3. Who is the most inspirational person in your life, and why? I really don’t know this answer either

4. Do you believe in karma? Your karma ran over my dogma!

5. If you could have a dream job for a day what would it be? The worst WalMart greeter ever (I would welcome them to Target and demand two forms of I.D. if they tried to exit the store with bulky items)

6. Name three annoyances currently in your life. Cold weather, lack of coffee and lack of sleep

7. What “spirit” animal do you best vibe with? The Dung Beetle!!!

8. How has blogging helped you? It’s been very cool to receive the positive feedback from others around the globe not scared away by my Gravatar pic

9. List two things that you are proud of accomplishing. Waking up this morning and surviving the commute back home

10. Do you have a talent, if so what is it? Answering lists of questions with mock sincerity

11. Where do you envision yourself in five years? How about ask me in five years you prying question askerer you!

Thoughts I have or suspect I will lose sleep over eventually…

Well…hello there…

It’s Friday and you’ve no doubt got outrageously exciting plans for the weekend so thanks for stopping by my blog for a visit!!!

Put on your random cap dear reader:

10) What if when we arrive at the pearly gates we learn that, due to sheer volume of requests and spambots, St. Peter requires us to solve some impossible reCAPTCHA encryption phrase to achieve passage into eternity…or not.

reCAPTCHA

9) Is a cronut in any way healthier than a donut? If so, I will justify adding them to my diet.

cronuts

8) Does “Gwenikins” know I’ve moved on?

Gwen Stefani

7) Why BBC? WHY?!?!? (…sobbing…)

Being Human cast 2

6) If terrorists actually did build and deploy an E-Bomb, surely I’ve gleaned enough survival skills by now (candles: Check!)

Revolution - Season 2

5) Is this cute or creepy?

n-CHIHUAHUA-BLUEBERRY-MUFFIN-large570

4) Speaking of creepy…Coulrophobia is REAL!

coulrophobia

3) Huh wha? Sorry I’m still looking at #4…

2) I hope no one else in the office brings in more gourmet frigging cupcakes! I can’t resist!

1) The question is not “Is the glass half empty or is it half full?” the question IS, in fact, “Why don’t I ever finish a glass of water? Commitment issues?”

water

Ok well…I hear you tapping your foot in anticipation of “gettin yo Friday on”. I strongly recommend you stop by Thomas Cochran’s blog on your way out!

Be off with you…until next time 🙂