Friday Fictioneers #14 – Their New Lives

PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Sandra Crook

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Sandra Crook

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge to create a 100 word story based on a photo prompt and then receive as well as share feedback with writers from around the world. Approx 100 submissions are entered every week.

Please read the other submissions here: http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=465542

Their New Lives

(Word Count: 100)

Marta forced her arm out of Jorge’s grasp. “Stay down and shut your mouth before they find us!” he scowled.

Siblings always fight but this time it was for their new lives.  The man they knew as “El Jefe” took their money but broke his promises and used them to distract the US border patrol (who would never fire on children). Meanwhile, he maneuvered a large amount of heroin to a specified location for pick up.

Marta hated the grueling terrain and filth surrounding them but there was no turning back.

America was their only hope.

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21 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers #14 – Their New Lives

  1. aww, tough times, you took me right there with the kids. Personally, I’d ditch the ages, I think they interrupt the flow and aren’t necessary to the story. You can give a feel of the age of the kids in other ways, maybe a bear in her hand or thoughts of one left behind, for example.

    • Really appreciated this feedback Jennifer! I was conflicted about including the ages at first and was going to paint the picture of a little girl with dirty face etc but when the concept of El Jefe appeared I opted for compromise as I try to get these written quickly 🙂

      I logged into WordPress last night for the first time in months and immediately had the urge to jump back into FF 🙂 Haven’t had time to read other submissions yet but will soon.

      Best regards!

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