Hi stranger. Let’s go for a ride in my car. Don’t be scared…I have candy…

I knew that title would get your attention. Let’s talk commutes. Got one? I have a 2 hour daily round trip commute. I know this is not the longest nor the shortest commute I’ve ever heard of some unfortunate souls enduring but thats 10 hours a week or something like 400 – 500 hours a year. Sick/Holiday/Vacation days assumed in that rough estimate. Vacation…now there’s a concept. Sigh.

Commuting is a humbling, thrilling, sometimes hilarious event. I can be compelled to love or hate people just by visually assessing their cars/clothes/mannerisms in a matter of seconds. It’s profiling at it’s best. I look around and there’s a hot soccer mom in a Chevy Tahoe in one lane, a priest in a Ford Taurus in another lane getting pressured by a young gun revving his Camaro SS, an OCD maniac who can’t stop tapping the brake pedal to save his life in his Hyundai Elantra directly in front of me!

Then there’s the far left HOV lane intended for multiple occupants in vehicles purportedly to lessen the traffic congestion. However, the ratio is probably 5 to 1 of the people who AREN’T actually abiding by the law and have exactly 1 occupant (I may or may not be guilty). Sometimes local law enforcement will make it a habit to ticket the offenders but guess what…by the time they slow the offenders down and move them across several lanes to the shoulder of the road they’ve significantly slowed the progress of the rest of the commuters. It’s a cluster.

But then I imagine we all probably pretend it’s the old west and the outlaws within us ruled the highways. That way I would be perfectly justified to just bide my time and wait until the asshole on the Ducati sped into the lane to my left and then I’d fling my driver’s door open and send him flying. Then I’d be free to open fire on the HOV lane offenders who were definitely NOT HOV positive.

Honking reloading

Ahh but you know it’s all just about finding common ground in the human experience of all attempting to get along I suppose. Some definitely make it much easier like letting those in front of them merge onto the interstate without a hassle. Others will waste their breath screaming at the top of their lungs at the other driver in the same situation and would rather swap paint and potentially their commute for eternal rest  just to prove they have “the right of way!!!!”. (I may or may not be guilty).

The left lane liberals, the right lane righteous, the middle lane moderates, the rogue independents on the Ducatis.  I guess we all fit in one or more of those groups given the hour, day or week we’re having regardless of mode of transportation.

The bumper stickers keep me amused. The most perplexing and humorous so far has been (I mean who would even think to make this a bumper sticker?):

fat people

Have you got any favorites? Please share.

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3 thoughts on “Hi stranger. Let’s go for a ride in my car. Don’t be scared…I have candy…

  1. HIlarious! I’m on the road a couple hours and prefer the humorous bumper stickers to the ones that tell me what to do. You know what I mean? Here’s a recent favorite that comes to mind, “Please don’t hit me! I’m not 100% sure about my coverage.” And also, “Where the hell is Easy Street?”

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